Excessive Cubicle Decorator

If the three walls of my office cubicle could talk they wouldn’t say a word. They’d SING! You see my collection of knick knacks, doodads, and wacky conversation starters makes Pee Wee’s Playhouse look like an exercise in minimalism.

My collection of Family Circus comics cut from the newspaper tells my coworkers that I know how to read and can operate scissors. I don’t usually “get” the comics, but I just love cutting things.

The Mardi Gras beads tell you that I have a wild side. How did I get them? Wouldn’t you like to know!? I actually bought them at the party store to hang in my cube.

The collage of my vacation pictures tells you that I’m well traveled and invites people to inquire as to where I’ve visited. However, I’d rather not talk about the awkward casual sex I had with various locals on my many trips or the resulting venereal diseases I brought back as souvenirs.

I also have more motivational posters per square inch than anyone else in my department, which indicates that I’m a hard worker with a love for Grand Canyon sunsets and kittens dangling from branches. What’s not to love about an animal in peril? Hang in there, Pussy!

I recently saw some coworkers with action figures posed in their cubes. Not one to be left behind the trends, I ordered a complete set of Star Wars figures off of Ebay. It cost me $2500, but it pays for itself in the amount of young males who flock to my desk to talk about the adventures of Lou Skywalker and Darth Vapor. Live long and prosper, fellas!

For more office idiots, click here.
While you’re there, share a meal with the Co-Worker Who Eats Your Food in the Fridge.

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