Where is Contemptster HQ based?
New York City… a place with such vibrant diversity and a vast array of world views that it is truly a melting pot of annoyances.
Tell us more about your jerk profiles?
That wasn’t really a question, but okay. The jerk profiles are staff and user generated first person profiles of those innovators of asshole that populate our lives every enraging day. We’ve arranged them by categories which can be found via the tabbed links along the top of the page. Do you loathe public nail clippers? Well, mosey on over to the “Public Behavior” tab. Have a gripe about your stupid boss at work? Well, the “Office Life” tab will transport you to a world of shared cubicle misery.
What are the Top 25 Jerks?
This area is directly affected by your votes on the Contempt-o-meter located at the bottom of each individual jerk profile. The rating system is on a no-nonsense 1 to 10 scale. Those profiles receiving the highest marks are thrust into this highly coveted section where they stand with dominion over all other profiles (until the fickle public turns on them for selling out).
How often should I visit the site?
Several times each day. We update the site every weekday with new entertaining and hilarious features. We also post a new never before seen blog each day. Sometimes it’s two new blogs. Sometimes it’s two hundred! Actually never that many, but maybe some day. You can be assured of at least one new, entertaining blog every day. And please click on the ads. We’ve got trophy wives to support, for god’s sake!
How do I find past blogs and articles?
There are a few ways for you to find blogs of a bygone era. Below each blog is a link called “Contemptster blogs” that will show you the entire vast library of past blogs. Similarly, you can scroll to the bottom of the homepage and click on the link “More Contemptster Blogs” to view all of the blogs and articles ever posted. If you would like more pared down results, then utilize the “Browse the Archives” tool which allows you to view blogs by month. In addition, the “Search” tool works like any search engine and lets you browse everything on the site using keywords.
How and what can I submit to Contemptser.com?
You can submit contempt related stories, comments, pictures and videos by clicking on “Submit” under the “Things you can do” section on the homepage. We’ll post your submissions on the site or craft them into a jerk profile or blog.
What’s with the submission form?
Along with your submissions we ask for a few basic pieces of information. The form is short and asks for very general user information. We will always respect your privacy and promise to never disseminate your email address or contact info no matter how many volts the Spammer terrorists amp up on the nipple clamps. Contemptster.com is not a stool pigeon.
I’m funnier than the writers on your website. If I write my own jerk profiles, will you post them?
Absolutely! If we deem it funny and appropriate for the site, your content will be on display for your friend and parents to see. We’ll credit you on the profile and for your trouble, we’ll happily provide a link to your website, blog, or whatever wacky venture you do in your spare time.
Where do I go to inquire about advertising on Contemptster.com?
“Advertise Here” is at the bottom of every page.
How can I contact you to tell you how much your website sucks?
“Contact Us” is at the bottom of every page. Or try us at Contemptster@gmail.com. Our AIM screenname is Contemptster.
Hey! You ganked a photo of mine from the internet! Not cool, man! Take it down!
Google image searches provide many, if not all, of the photos we use on the site. If you contact us and request that we take down a photo because you own it or you’re in it and don’t approve of its use, we are more than happy to remove it immediately. That’s a promise. See the above question for how to get in touch with us.
I’m a huge racist and religious bigot. Is there a place for me on Contemptster.com?
No, there is not. Most of the complaints we have with people are due to actions, character flaws, personality, etc. Any submissions that are even remotely racist or bigoted will not get posted. Use your discretion and be creative.
What’s your agenda?
We here at Contemptster.com are not in the business of partisan politics or agenda setting. Our only agenda is entertaining, creating an outlet for everyday frustration, and the occasional sexy party. Although our aim is not to be political, this does not preclude submissions or content in this arena. Anything contemptible is fair game at Contemptster.com.
If I see Contemptster on Myspace should I befriend them?
Yes, it is advisable that you do. Contemptster.com has an ever growing presence on Myspace and is always looking for new friends. We have a general profile for the site and we also created pages for some of our favorite jerks. Feel free to ironically “be friends” with these assholes, as well. We’ll occasionally send out bulletins to keep all of our friends in the loop of Contemptster updates and happenings.
Here are our Myspace URLs:
Contemptster = http://www.myspace.com/contemptster
Creepy Emotionless Staring Baby = http://www.myspace.com/creepy_staring_baby
Hot Head at Bars = http://www.myspace.com/hot_head_at_bars
Dave Matthews Band Fan = http://www.myspace.com/dave_matthews_is_god
If Contemptster.com had to go on a space mission and found life on another planet but was not sure if the life forms were dangerous, how would Contemptster proceed with the interstellar interaction?
We’d throw a gun at it. If the life form cocked it we’d know better. If the life form did nothing then we’d say hello. Contemptster would still have another gun and if shit went down at least we’d be the life form that knows how to use a gun. Diplomacy.