Fashion Label Whore

July 16th, 2007 . by contemptster

“You look fabulous! Who are you wearing?”

“Well, the top is Calvin. I just love Calvin. The sunglasses are brand new Marc Jacobs. The capris I picked up at Dolce and the boots from Prada. They’re gorgeous and I just had to have them. This bag, of course, is Louis. Oh, and this is a scarf I found at a flea Market while vacating in Paris.

“The pretentiousness? That I was born with.”

Related: From Jezebel.

Contempty says: If you think that the initials on your sunglasses or purse somehow make you a better person, you are sadly mistaken. In fact (and this is going to come as a huge surprise to you), your dependence on designer fashion labels is like a giant neon sign pointing out all your insecurities and self-esteem issues.

Everyone can see your pre-teen chubbiness written all over that oversized Louis Vitton purse. And that cute guy who rejected you in high school because you found out he said your nose was too big… yeah, we know about him and how your D&G sunglasses help you to forget that it ever happened, like some kind of designer lobotomy. And clear as day, we can all see your desire to be the center of attention despite the fact that you have no personality or any other qualities that would otherwise make you stand out in a crowd.

So the next time you want to show off that expensive new designer piece of shit you’ll be paying interest on for the next four years, remember: we know who you really are.

For more everyday assholes, click here.
While you’re there, check in with Fashion Label Whore’s close friend Designer Bag Girl.

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