The Bitchy to Girls Bitch

Submitted by Kasey

Excuse me? Did you just say hello to me? Cause I don’t acknowledge people who are not already in my elite social circle… especially if you’re a girl. I can manipulate a guy, they’re so dumb, but a girl? She has to earn my pleasantries, not that I have any. Yes, I am a bitch! Thank you for noticing.

Don’t bother trying to strike up conversation. I’m just going to look at you like you have four heads, quietly judging everything about you if you don’t mind.

The truth is, I don’t hate you nearly as much as I hate myself. You’re pretty, but did you know you also have split ends and cankles? It’s okay, I already told everyone we both know. Oh, and don’t even THINK about talking to any male friend of mine…I told them you have herpes anyway.

Let’s face facts, I am completely threatened by your presence in my little world and intend to do away with you as soon as possible. Maybe in a parallel universe, or if I weren’t an asshole, we could be friends, but as it is, I must destroy you with the invisible darts shooting out of my eyes. By the way, I love your shoes!

For more everyday assholes, click here.
While you’re there, check out the Designer Bag Girl.

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