Reader Mail: Man You Guys Are Pissed

October 4th, 2007 . by contemptster

Answering some reader mail/crazy rants sent by you. Want to get in touch? Submit thoughts, rants, and well wishes here.

“I’ll see you in hell Neocon guy wearing the Ramones t-shirt recently purchased from Ricky’s who just swiped the seat on the F-train that I was clearly about to make my own. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but your little seat-swiping display of top-doggery was something only a real twat would do, however, your subsequent attempts to loudly and obviously forge a superficial bond with the toddler in the next seat earns you the special distinction of world-class twat.” - Grant

Contemptster: Thanks, Grant, but our young Neocon made the right choice with that Ramones shirt. You must forget the lost Ramones tunes “Shock n’ Awe High School” and “KKK Raise My Baby Today!” that the liberal media forced them to change into the sugary hits you’re probably familiar with.

duane reade “I hate it when the cashier totally ignores the customer and talks to her friend next to her instead of giving her attention to the customer and the sale. It is so rude. So many people have absolutely no manners.” - Lois

Contemptster: Yes I totally agree, Lois. You’re the customer, but they’re the ones doing you a favor. Most don’t even say thank you. If I didn’t need to buy beer and Slim Jims at 11:45 PM on a Tuesday night I’d never go into my local bodega with the dusty canned goods that have been on the shelves since the Carter Administration and the surly cashier who drops the change on the counter just as you’re reaching out for him to hand it to you. But hey, thems the breaks

hippy 3 “Everyone has one in either their friend circle, their job, or even their family. They are the ‘new study’ people. They read the interwebs. They watch the Health segment on the evening news. They are on the pulse of all the new studies ‘experts’ do about things that don’t need studying. That glass of water you’re drinking? Yeah, it’ll kill you. You shouldn’t drink it, new study says so. That one last week about how you should drink more of it? It doesn’t apply any more, because this is the newest study. They really don’t care if you don’t want to hear it. They’re just trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE. Sheesh. By the way, you should stop breathing. New study says that it can cause cancer.” - Kupo

Contemptster: Everyday on the Yahoo! news wire there’s another new study or finding that just makes me say, “why the hell are they are breeding transparent frogs, studying the sex life of jumping spiders, or wasting money on trying to get back the moon and CRYING ABOUT HOW CHINA WILL GET TO THE MOON BEFORE THE U.S. DOES…AGAIN…FOR THE SEVENTH FUCKING TIME!???!! when we have a huge energy crisis and an AIDS pandemic in Africa!”

And don’t eat eggs because they’re bad for you, no wait eat them they’re good. Kudus, Kupo, I can’t stand these people. Leave me alone and let me die in peace.

And then there’s this

uglydress “When asked to be a bridesmaid you’re basically obligated to say yes, which follows with a “yes” to just about everything else the bride asks for, including the bridesmaid dress. Now this isn’t a post about bridezillas, it’s about the dress makers. The bridesmaid is obligated to buy the dress (for any where from $100 to $400) in the color that the bride picks by the company that the bride picks. Now having been a bridesmaid a few times as well as a bride, I know from experience that getting a bridesmaid dress is pure hell. I have yet to understand why the dresses are never made in the correct size. You are a size 4, you should be able to order a size 4, not a size 8 that you then have to pay $100 or more to alter. It’s a conspiracy in the bridal industry that I have yet to figure out. It’s not like the dress maker benefits from designing incorrect sizes, if anything they end up using extra material. The only one who benefits is the tailor. So is it the little old tailors of the world who control the bridal industry size standards?” - JT

Contemptster: I think tailors can be blamed for most of the world’s problems. They are certainly the reason I have body issues. A 38 inch waste? You want me to starve myself, tailor?

Contempt-o-meter
Vote here! 1 bar